Olympia becomes first WA city with protections for polyamorous families
AI-generated summary reviewed by our newsroom.
- Council creates new municipal code chapter protecting diverse relationship structures.
- Housing amendment and new code both provide civil remedies for such discrimination.
- City cites barriers in housing, health care, education and services and seeks protections.
The Olympia City Council unanimously passed two ordinances on Feb. 24 making the city the first in Washington with explicit protections for polyamorous families and other diverse family structures.
City Manager Jay Burney presented the two ordinances to the City Council. He said the diverse family structures referral was introduced by council member Robert Vanderpool at the Jan. 13 council meeting, and it was supported by Mayor Dontae Payne and Mayor Pro Tem Yến Huỳnh.
Burney said the referral outlines several systemic barriers that diverse family structures face, including in housing, health care, education and services. He said the diverse family definition the city is using includes “single parent, multi generational, blended, chosen, non-monogamous structures and family structures.”
He said existing policies often assume dual income or nuclear households, creating inequities. The request in the proposal is to add family or relationship structure as a protected category in city code to cover diverse family structures.
Burney said in order to properly address the issue, the city attorney has proposed adding a new Olympia Municipal Code chapter to establish comprehensive protections against unlawful discrimination in Olympia. Diverse family and relationship structures would be added to the new chapter.
“It is a comprehensive policy declaration of the City of Olympia against discrimination, and it also expands protections and coverage,” Burney said.
He said the other ordinance was a proposed amendment to an OMC chapter on unfair housing practices. He said the amendment would specifically add protections for traditional and non-traditional family structures, and consensual relationship structures.
Burney said both the new OMC and amended housing code provide civil enforcement remedies for any violations. He said the city isn’t the enforcement mechanism for complaints, but the code provides a “civil remedy for folks in court.”
Jessa Davis, executive director of the Seattle Coalition for Family and Relationship Equity, said during public comment she is a former resident of Olympia, and she wanted to highlight the importance of adopting protections for people’s family and relationship status.
Davis said data from the Organization for Polyamory and Ethical Non-monogamy shows that social stigma is one of the greatest barriers that polyamorous people face. She said non-discrimination efforts like these ordinances will help people “begin to live authentically and openly.”
“I’m excited for how creating this space in the public sphere to change the tone of the conversation will allow people to come out of the closet, speak up and begin to chip away at that stigma,” Davis said. “So the changes we’re making in the law tonight hopefully are going to build toward a movement of acceptance.”
Roslyn Erlewine said her daughter has three parents, which has caused problems at the hospital. She said when her daughter was just two days old she had to be rushed to the hospital, where she was taken back with her biological mom.
“When we checked in, the person at the front desk asked who we were to the patient, one of us hesitated, and then we said, ‘Mom, other mom and dad,’” Erlewine said. “In that moment, we feared that the person sitting across from us might say, ‘Well, only two parents can go back with the child,’ or that there may be other questions that would keep us from our baby for any longer.”
She said to their relief, they were all allowed to go back with her. However, she said no parent should ever have to fear they might be kept from their children because of their relationship or family structure.
“No child should ever be separated from their parents because of their family structure, not even for a moment,” Erlewine said. “Thank you for recognizing the need to pass protections for people with different relationship structures. Our daughter is two years old now and is happy, healthy and thriving.”
Tyson Holman with the Seattle Coalition for Family & Relationship Equity, said he drove to Olympia from Seattle to thank each council member for passing protections for diverse family structures.
“I think it’s really important for me personally, I’m a polyamorous and queer man, and I know firsthand what it’s like to have to face discrimination and have to edit myself to prevent that from happening,” Holman said. “I got out into public with people that I love and have to pretend like that love doesn’t exist.”
Holman said he’s gotten really good at using the word “partner” very generally and broadly to avoid people realizing he has more than one. He said it isn’t just him dealing with this issue.
“This is something that we all have to deal with, this editing of ourselves to avoid discrimination,” Holman said. “Some of us, when talking to a landlord, we have to say roommate, when really we mean family. Some of us, when introducing a partner to a coworker, we say just a friend, when really we mean partner.”
He said he thinks one of the worst things polyamorous people have to deal with is having to choose which partners are visible in public, and which remain hidden. He said he’s been the hidden partner, and it hurts to feel like the way he loves doesn’t exist.
“And so the protections that you’re putting forth for the City of Olympia are going to really dramatically help people like me, and I really generally hope that the City of Seattle is able to follow your leadership and implement similar protections,” Holman said.
Council member Robert Vanderpool said he had prepared a written statement to share Tuesday evening, but he wrote more after hearing the testimony of the public. He said the policy was written because folks in the community came to the council requesting they take action.
“It’s you coming to us and expressing your concerns, your experiences that you’ve had in the community of discrimination,” he said. “Because I may not always experience it, but I want to listen to what folks in the community are living through, and be there for you.”
He said it’s important Olympia take these actions when the federal government is “acting to harm civil liberties.”
Vanderpool said he’s had some folks reach out and not understand why the council is taking up this issue. He said issues like public transportation, housing affordability and street safety are dear to his heart, but so are people in the community.
“I have a responsibility to protections, whether it be civil or bicycle infrastructure, because ultimately, we want to have a community where people feel accepted and loved and welcomed,” he said.
Mayor Dontae Payne said as an openly gay man, he can think of all the times when people have said anything that states or local governments were doing to legitimize queer relationships was something they shouldn’t be doing.
“And that was due to a lot of fear about the change and not understanding same sex relationships,” he said. “Right now, we see that happening with the transgender community; people do not understand, and so we see a lot of frankly brutal and archaic proposals coming forward to weaponize specifically our transgender community members.”
Payne said for him, the ordinances recognize that people who are in different kinds of families already live in the community. And he sees the term “diverse family structure” as an umbrella term to encompass many different types of situations.
“There are not many people who actually are part of a traditional family in the sense that your parents are married, not divorced, all the children are from the same and on and on,” he said. “And so what we’re doing here tonight actually impacts people that you probably know, and it also affects people that are hiding, as we just heard earlier, or not coming out about who they truly are.”
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